I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
