And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
