this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
