come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
