Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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