I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
