i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so let's talk penis.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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