i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
