Where is the hickey?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize