you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
