Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i love accidental penises.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
