this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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