Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I love having hate sex.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize