i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
