What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
