Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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