There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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