have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
