Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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