i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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