32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
