My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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