I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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