im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
