So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
