Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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