I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
