dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
