found the other keg... it's in the tree
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
