the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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