omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
