Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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