So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
