so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
