What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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