hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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