Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
