This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You smell like stripper and shame
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
