They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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