This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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