He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
