Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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