If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Someone came in the potted fern
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
