I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
