you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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