scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
