can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
