she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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