we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
