Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
