I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
