he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You pole danced in your parka.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
