The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
