my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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