apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
