I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
