He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am one with the molecules
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
