he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
