We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
