My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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